We need a Ramadan
by Abu Uwais ‘Abdullaah ‘Alee (rahimullaah)
Ramadhaan is a month of Forgiveness.
Ramadhaan is a month of Rahmah.
Ramadhaan is the month of generosity.
Ramadhaan, the month that Allaah subhaanu wa ta’ Ala accepts the Tawbah of the servants, and the month that Allaah blesses His servants.
We are in need of Ramadhaan to correct ourselves, for we have forgotten Allaah tabarak ta’Ala for the majority of the year.
To correct ourselves for we’ve been neglectful.
To correct ourselves for we’re not upon the remembrance of Allaah.
To correct ourselves because our hearts have gotten hard, some hearts are dead, some hearts are sick, some hearts are stone-cold, some hearts are black, getting no benefit whatsoever. Some hearts are so bad, and so ill that they see a good as a munkar, as an evil, and they see an evil as a good.
We need a Ramadhaan. We need a Ramadhaan because our connection with Allaah tabarak ta’Ala is not correct. We need a Ramadhaan because we don’t have any Khushoo or devotion in our Salaah.
We need a Ramadhaan because our Qur’aan has dust and is sitting on a shelf.
We need a Ramadhaan because we never read the books of Sunnah.
We need a Ramadhaan because we don’t fast, and if we fast physically without food or drink, we don’t fast with our eyes by lowering them and our tongue by not slandering and our tongue by not lying and back-biting. We need a Ramadhaan to get ourselves back in order, to work for the hereafter, to connect ourselves to Allaah tabarak ta’Ala.
We need a Ramadhaan because relationships brother to brother and sister to sister is in a miserable condition.
We need a Ramadhaan because we have bad thoughts about one another.
We need a Ramadhaan because of dhulm, injustice to one another.
We need a Ramadhaan because there’s backbiting, there’s envy, there’s jealousy, and there’s slander.
We need a Ramadhaan because we’re despicable, because we’re sick, because we’re ill.
We need a Ramadhaan because we don’t believe in the promise of Allaah, or if we do, we don’t implement it.
We need a Ramadhaan because its time for us to change and become something better then we are now.
We need a Ramadhaan because that’s the only thing that’s gonna get us together…
We need a Ramadhaan because we don’t have unity, there’s no brotherhood
We need a Ramadhaan because there’s no respect for elders
We need a Ramadhaan because there’s no real love between us
We need a Ramadhaan, full of love and the Mercy of Allaah tabarak ta’Ala.
A Ramadhaan like we come in, like in a clinic or a hospital, trying to solve our illnesses, trying to come out of there without the disease we came with, trying to be better than we went in.
We need a Ramadhaan, look around you, look to your right, look to your left, look in front of you and look behind you and you’ll say “We need a Ramadhaan”.
The sisters’ are not’t covering properly, we need a Ramadhaan. Brother and sisters are mixing, We need a Ramadhaan. Talking on phones and on the Internet, we need a Ramadhaan. This is a mess, we’re in a fix, we’re in a bind, and this is a problem… We need a Ramadhaan. We need a Ramadhaan to get ourselves together.
We need a Ramadhaan, that we come in the Masjid and we face the Qiblah and we say “Allaahu Akbar” and we stand in qiyaamah a long time until those diseases, that filth, that sickness, that hardness of the heart goes away.
We need a Ramadhaan that reminds us of the Hell-fire. We need a Ramadhaan that tells us that we haven’t been given a certificate that we’re people of Jannah.
We need a Ramadhaan that lets us known that we are servants of Allaah tabarak ta’Ala.
And if we were to spend our whole life, from the time we were born until Qiyaamah is Sajdah it would not be enough to thank Allaah for His Mercy, His Grace and Blessings.
We need a Ramadhaan.
———————–
I pray that Allaah accepts all our fasts, our acts of ibaadah, our qiyamul layl (ameen)…May Allaah (azwajall) allow us to seek the night of qadr and may He(subhanahu wa ta’aala) accept our repentence and forgive our sins and forgive our parents sins and help all believers all over the world to overcome all kiinds of hardships…Allaahuma AMEEEEEEEN. May Allaah bring our hearts closer as believers and put more love for the striving for the akheera…we do not know when our last ramadhan is…. let us make most of this one insha Allaah… Please do remember to make dua for me and my parents as well. (remember da angels will make that same dua for you then :) )
Jazakumullaahu Kheirun for stopping by…
wassalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakathu!
Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage
Ten ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one
The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one’s intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one’s spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, “A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing.” (Muslim)
Be Your Mate’s Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse’s likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very “Western” concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one’s feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The “silent treatment” has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.
Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
Dr. Aisha Hamdan
This article is taken from the following site: http://www.alinaam.org.za/library/tipsmarriage.htm
